Tuesday 7 January 2014

Resolutions?

Resolutions

Sure, you're going to lose a few pounds, join a book group, spend a little more time on the treadmill and a little less time online and maybe even clean out that old file cabinet, but these are boring resolutions.

The best resolutions are the ones we make for other people. In that spirit, we'd like to hear the fates make promises that:

•  will drop its proposal to regulate agents and require them to disclose their commission and override arrangements.

• Nobody will make phone calls in flight, even if it's permitted.

• The Statue of Liberty, up to and including the crown, will stay open, forever.

• Ryanair's   doesn't say anything at all, all year.

• No hotel company will introduce or acquire more than six new brands this year.

• Somebody will invent a way to incorporate a lie detector into computer keyboards and touchscreens so we can start to believe those user reviews.

• Somebody will figure out what to do with the S.S. United States.

• Namibia will figure out a way to save its endangered rhino population without the revenue it gains from issuing rhino hunting permits.

• North Korea opens its borders, declares itself a democracy, holds free elections and welcomes tourists.

• Southwest completes its integration with AirTran before AirTran's employees all reach retirement age.

• ASTA has a convention and just calls it "The ASTA Convention."

• The Visa Waiver Program spreads to the Known Universe.

• The pope takes a vacation and packs light; both become fads.

• The average age of retail travel agents, and their clients, drops to 35.

• The airlines wake up and realize that most adults are not 5-foot-2 and 120 pounds and start adjusting their seat pitch accordingly.

• The terms "sequester," "mixed use," "accretive" and "remediate" mysteriously leave the language.

• All members of Congress take a cruise and then shut up about the cruise industry.

• WiFi becomes free, everywhere.

• The U.S. and Cuba decide to hug and make up.

• Defying the antitrust laws, cruise line CEOs agree to eliminate noncommisionable fees, and the Justice Department's antitrust division looks the other way.

• IATA rewrites its NDC resolution so that everybody understands it -- and then everybody likes it.

• The federal government will ease its restrictions on meetings so that government employees can have professional encounters in conference centers and hotels rather than school cafeterias.

• Travelers demand travel insurance without being reminded.

• Some genius invents a solar cell that can power a cruise ship.

• Britain will restructure its exorbitant Air Passenger Duty and bring it in line with the departure taxes of other civilized countries.

• Journalists and bloggers won't put "travel agents" on their top 10 list of "dead-end careers" or "jobs that will soon be extinct."

• The Sharing Economy produces world peace.

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